last failure

Tonight, I report my sixth and last failure to arrange for a long darkness retreat. I made two business propositions to people, the dome and health proposals. But my heart was not really in them. The effort was putting too much pressure on me and the project. It needs no pushing. And so unconsciously, I made these proposals randomly so they would not get enough response.

The benefit of all this has been to become able detach from the retreat in a way new to me. In other words, I no longer feel the need to make it happen right away or as a direct function of my livelihood.

Now I will find some simple work and do the retreat on my own time. If it works, then other opportunities will arise naturally.

Above all, one must be some place. Cold weather has not made sense to me for a long time. Nor has the American way of life. So I traded in my expensive winter coat for a flight to Guatemala on November 9. I will find a group to volunteer with, then go from there.

Written on October 17, 2009